Someone Needs to Tell Me I'm Not a Runner!

Three Christmases ago, my little brother gave me a slightly unorthodox "gift" that has totally disrupted my life ever since. His gift was participation in a relay race with him and our older brother. Kenny would be the swimmer, Kiley would be the biker, and I would be the runner. Maybe you didn't catch that. I would be the runner. Me. Kimberly. I don't know if you've met me, but I am anything but athletic. Never have been. Have the coordination of an emu.

"It's only 5 miles, Kimberly. You can do that, piece of cake."

So the week after Christmas, I set out to begin my training. I "ran" about .25 miles and decided 5 miles is not even close to a piece of cake. I forced myself to finish walking fast through the remainder of one mile and then went to Burger King for french toast sticks.

Lucky for me, I have an amazing 'big brother' who didn't want to see me fail at my Christmas gift, so Kiley met me 3 times a week at the track and we ran (Kiley: "I think I'd probably call this jogging, as opposed to actual running.") 5 minutes, walked for 1, etc. for 5 miles. Of course it got a little (2%?) easier over time but I wasn't falling in love with running by any means.

Enter 10.2 million stress fractures in my ankle. Enter the cancellation of the triathlon. I'm off the hook, right!? Yay! I've been injured and there's no longer an event to train for! My training career is exit stage left!

Not so fast, Berly. I've caught the bug. I think I actually want to become a runner. I really want to love this sport. I do, I do! I've always really admired and secretly been jealous of people that run. I want to be that! So I sign up for a 5k with Kiley. And even crazier, I join a Ragnar Wasatch Back 24-hour Relay team. What? Run 3 legs of 4.5 miles each in a 24 hour period with no sleep? Sounds fantastic. I'd love ta.

Two years later, I'm still plugging away, running (yeah, Kiley, I dare to call it that) 3 times a week. I can now run 4 miles without that walking break that I thought I would never be able to live without and even though I'm constantly discounting my low mileage out loud (I've never run a marathon, for the love of Pete ), I am pretty freaking proud of myself.

Just did another 5k with Kiley and am getting amped up for another go at the Ragnar Wasatch Back 24-hour Relay, and even though I've asked you to remind me to stop running after Ragnar, I probably won't. I'm going to be cool with not ever running an insane marathon, but will hopefully convince myself that I AM A RUNNER!

MA'AM, YOU CAN'T SWIM THERE

As I was walking to the delicious (NOT) Coba Cafe which is just over yonder on the other side of the swimming pool, the slippery part of my flip flop met up with a slight puddle, about 8 inches from the edge of the pool. My left foot went out from under me and, with all the grace and finesse I could muster, into the swimming pool I went, crackberry, drivers license, hotel room key and all. And not in my swim suit.

Last thing I heard before the fateful plunge: "....for a home health care company." "oh, I work at Budweiser..."

Oh, OH, OOOHHHH! SPLAAAAAAAAAASH!

Thoughts as I'm going into the pool: "MMMYYYYYYYYY PHOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!!!"

The first time I come up out of the water, I frantically look to see how deep this blasted pool is. 3 1/2 feet. Piece of cake. Back down I go. Holy crap. 3 1/2 feet is further down than I can bend. I don't have enough air for this! BUT I'VE GOT TO GET THAT PHONE!!!!!!!!

"CRACKBERRY, I'M COMING! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU!"

Back down. But wait. I still haven't breathed. BREATHE, BERLY! Wait, DON'T BREATHE IN THE WATER! Back up to choke/take a breath. Still no phone in hand.

I hear "YOU CATCH YOUR BREATH! I'LL GET YOUR PHONE!" from Budweiser Guy.

It's alright. I use my toes to drag the blasted phone up the side of the swimming pool wall. Yeah, the cement one. But I have the phone, and rip out the battery immediately.

Lady laying next to Budweiser Guy starts yelling "just soak it in rubbing alcohol! it will dry out the water!" I'm down a few brain cells from this experience and ask her "won't that ruin it!?"

Meanwhile, it turns out that I fell into the area that is reserved for those hurling out of the waterslides. 16'ish year old "life guard" comes over to me and says "ma'am, you can't swim in that area."

I'd say she earned her minimum wage for the day.

SING TO ME, MOMMY!!

Our family took a vacation to Vegas, baby! for fall break. I thought they would all be so excited to go on an airplane but unfortunately, all 3 kids were somewhat panicked about the idea. So much for excited anticipation of the trip! Everyone freaked out at the mere mention of the upcoming vacation.

By the time vacation day had arrived, the idea had grown on Stone. Regan was still saying “no, my not want to go on an a-plane” and Chloe was downright horrified at the idea. I knew boarding the plane was going to be an adventure. Big Brother Kiley recently took his 3 year old on an airplane and advised me to prep the kids about the security check, which seemed to be the most nerve-wracking part of the adventure for Hagen. So thanks to his advice, we breezed right through the security check point, each kid practically ripping off their shoes before we had even made it to the security point.

Chloe started to panic just as we were boarding the plane and continued to be a nervous wreck during the whole boarding process. Stone was sitting near one window saying “when is this plane going to take flight?”; Regan was sitting between Stone and Jeff saying “let’s go, daddy!” and Chloe was sitting near the other window crying “I want to go home!” Finally, it was our turn to hit the runway. When we started going “supy” fast, the panic really set in, and you know it didn’t get any better when we took off! Chloe was scared out of her mind, bless her heart! She is usually calmed down by listening to me sing “I am a Child of God”, “Teach Me to Walk in the Light”, “I Love to See the Temple”, etc. so in her moments of mortification, she was shrieking “MOMMY, SING TO ME!!!” I had to sing loud enough for her to hear me over the engines and her screaming, so they weren’t the most reverent renditions, but eventually she looked me in the eyes and concentrated on my voice until we were cruising comfortable at 30,000 feet. Thank goodness for primary songs!

As we headed toward baggage carousel #7 (Stone’s job to remember that part), Regan was in awe of the Vegas-injected airport and kept asking “where are we, Mommy?” We had to ride a speedy tram to the building where the baggage carousels were, which was another thrill for the kids. When we arrived at our destination and started to exit, Regan exclaimed “why do we always have to get off, daddy?”

We arrived at the resort and the kids were thrilled to discover the gigantizoid swimming pool and waterslides. As we walked to the room, Regan asked “is this going to be our home for awhile?”

Home sweet vacation home, my ninos! Enjoy the memories!

BIRTH DAYS

To continue the tradition my mom started of sharing the story of our births with us on our birthdays, I'll include those stories here for my kids. Each of their birthdays was so special and will always be 3 of my favorite days ever!

Stone Jeffrey Averett was born on 12/22/99 despite me trying to convince him otherwise as I still had Christmas shopping to do! Most of my labor was spent at Fashion Place Mall where we seemed to run into everyone we knew (including my mom!) who all tried to convince us that we were having a baby that day. It's hard to argue with that when I had to stop every 3 minutes so I could breathe through contractions, but whatever. Jeff took me home for a couple of hours so he could go out for some more shopping and while he was gone, my water broke. It was official. I was having a baby that day, although Jeff continued to question it all the way to the hospital ("are you sure that's what it is?"). Stone was trying to be born bum-first so after all that work, he was born by c-section at 10:49 that night. My family brought the Christmas Eve celebration to us and Shar and Uel brought us a little Christmas tree for our room since we spent the holiday in the hospital. We brought our best Christmas gift ever home in a giant Christmas stocking the little old ladies had made.

Chloe Geneil Averett was born on 10/15/02. What a beautiful baby girl! She had (and still does) the prettiest little facial features and the prettiest hands (piano player hands, I hope!). Labor began around 2 in the morning when I woke up because my water broke. Stone was a very concerned toddler because he kept hearing us refer to the broken water and finally asked Daddy if my water was going to be okay. The labor with sweet Chloe was (almost) a hypno-birthing mom's dream. Pitocin and back labor made it a little more intense than I had planned, but the techniques I had learned (up 90 steps and back down) and the jacuzzi made it all go pretty smoothly. So smooth in fact that I took a 45 minute nap at the beginning of the transition stage. When you do that, the nurses get so blown away and curious that they "take turns" coming in to check on you so they can see an actual natural childbirth! I pushed for 50 minutes to get that little girl out and when I finally had, I was so proud of myself and of my new beautiful little girl. Chloe's voice box didn't work and she didn't make any sound when she cried, a blessing and a curse (sleepless nights for mommy, listening for her "silent cry"). Don't worry though, she's making up for lost time now with her voice that is definitely NOT broken anymore!

Regan Dean Averett is our little crazy man. He was born on 8/3/05. Pregnancy was very uncomfortable with this little guy and I was very anxious for him to GET OUT! On his birthday, I had gone to my regular prenatal appointment where I was told everything looked great and the midwife would see me again next week. About an hour and a half later, the contractions started and I knew that baby was finally coming out! I was wrapping things up at work and held a meeting with my employees to go over some last minute items while they timed my contractions and began panicking that the baby would be born at the corporate offices of Kiddie Kandids! They finally kicked me out and I went home to round up the familia and head to the hospital where unfortunately, I was told to go home because my contractions weren't strong enough. Having been through this a time or two before, I knew that baby was coming out and didn't want to drive home just to turn around. So Cousin Amy took Stone and Chloe to Grandma Jolie's where they got their "waiting at the hospital for our new baby to be born" backpacks ready. Jeff and I enjoyed a most delicious dinner at Olive Garden while the contractions grew stronger and stronger (waitress to Jeff: "is she going to be okay?") . Then back to the hospital where again, the cute, useless nurse told me I probably wasn't going to have that baby today. I asked if she wouldn't mind humoring me and letting me "rest" for awhile. About an hour later, my water broke. Ha! There was going to be a baby born. How 'bout that. Less than 2 hours after my water broke, I was pushing that baby out with all my might. Jeff called for the nurse who panicked when she saw I had almost delivered the baby. "Stop pushing!" she tells me. Yeah right, lady. She ran to the door and hollared for a doctor and by the time the doctor came in, my little baby was born. We didn't know if this baby was a boy or girl until that moment and I will never forget how awesome it was to hear the words "here's your little boy!" and see that sweet little man. (Don't worry, the nurse found me later and apologized for not taking me serious. The story was retold by the nurses and we heard "so you're the one that had a baby all by yourself without an epidural" during our hospital stay.) I did it for you, Regan!

We are so lucky to have these kids and I thank Heavenly Father for them every day. Each of them brings such a unique spirit to our home and I can't imagine life without them. I wouldn't trade anything for the chaos that is "The Averett Children." Not even a lifetime of quiet!

PEER PRESSURE

FINE! I'll join the rest of you hip kids and start a blog for my family. After all, my beautiful children deserve to have their lives chronicled on the interweb just like your kids do. And maybe some of the guilt I feel for not keeping up on their journals will be alleviated by this new project.

So, a quick recap for those of you just joining us at home. Jeff and I met at a now-defunct insurance company about 12 years ago. He was "the rocker in billing" that I didn't dare talk to for the first 7 months. I was that "cute little blonde girl" who stamped all his billing remittances every afternoon.

Our first date was to see Beevis and Butthead Do America on January 11, 1997. Jeff made us a delightful shrimp & pesto pasta dinner for Valentine's Day and asked if we could do it all again next year. In March, we'd been seeing each other long enough that I dared to introduce him to all my friends. And on April 4th, 1997, we got married at the county courthouse with the money we got from trading in our duplicate CDs. We celebrated our marriage with our family and friends on 4/20 at The Sun (a private club for members, PS).

And that's how it all began...